we're blogging at a bar
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
