it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
