she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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