i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
