so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
