I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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