Welp...herpes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
