capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have fence marks all over my body
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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