So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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