The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
