she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
