yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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