For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
