I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
kristin has been a bad kristin
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
