You work out of a Hotel?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
