His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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