Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
