actually, I'm a sock model
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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