It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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