I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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