so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
