she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
