wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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