i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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