No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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