these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish you could order shots online.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
