Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
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We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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