Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Houston, we have a squirter
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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