Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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