Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
