did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I supernannyed him into submission
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
