After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
