how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize