I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
