somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
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I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
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Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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