I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
