he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
operation harelip BJ is a go
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.