i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
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OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?