Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.