So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.