Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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