I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
