I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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