I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.