You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
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And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.