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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  How did you manage that?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  lol... jersey girls rock

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'

  (810): View more from Michigan

  needless to say i wont be back home tonight

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.

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• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.

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• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo

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• (916): View more from California

  I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked

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• (516): View more from New York

  He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.

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