How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.