I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
