I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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