My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
