I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
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I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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