Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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