I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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