it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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