I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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