I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
