when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You've changed since you got that strap on
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