I think my vagina is haunted
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
