so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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