Pants 0. Shit 1.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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