It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
