So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
