I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
