dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
