the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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